How To Control Cat Aggression

By Dennis Mcadams

Cats are notoriously known for their bad moods, self importance and arrogant behavior. However, sometimes cats can be a little too aggressive, especially if they have not been socialized properly. An aggressive cat is a potentially dangerous cat and so it is important to train them to lose part of that aggression whenever possible. So just how do you train a cat to be less aggressive?

Understanding Your Cats Aggression

Most cat aggression problems stem from a traumatic experience that the cat has previously had. For example, perhaps as a kitten your cat was hurt by another person? Or perhaps they were abandoned and that has taught them to be more wary of things around them?

Most of the time the aggression that your cat is showing you, is fear based aggression. So by understanding what your cats fear is, it is then easier to know how to train them and teach them that everything is ok. However, there are other causes of cat aggression and they include over excitement and illness. If your cat is ill for example, if you touch them in a certain place they may feel pain and they will strike out at you. Also, if you stroke your cat for long periods of time, it could become irritable and once again strike out at you.

By understanding what it is that makes your cat aggressive, you can then work on changing that behavior as best as you can.

Changing Aggressive Behavior

Changing a cat’s aggressive behavior can be hard but it is done similar to how you would train a dog not to bite or nip you.

Firstly it is always better to avoid the situation where possible. So if you know that certain things set your cat off, then make sure that you avoid doing it whenever possible. This could include playing with the cat where they become too excited within a certain time limit. If you know that the cat is going to get irritable after a few minutes, stop playing with them before that time and you will have successfully avoided the cat’s aggressive behavior.

Another thing that you can do to train your cat or kitten not to bite you is playing with them gently at first and keeping an eye on their behavior. As long as they are gentle with you, praise them. Eventually start making the game a little more excitable and look out for signs of claws being retracted and any signs of the cat going to bite you. If they do, stop playing and act dead and this should calm them down. If it doesn’t say ‘ouch’ as loud as you can.

Overall avoiding the behavior is always the best way to stop cat aggression, but if that isn’t possible then ignore the cat and do not give them any attention for a while.

About the Author: All of your cat training secrets and tips at my blog entitled Cat Training.
http://cat-training-expert.blogspot.com

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Leash Training – Answers to Your Leash Training Questions

By Kelly Marshall

Many dog owners neglect leash training their dogs. Why? Because they feel that is too much hassle and they feel that leash training is a waste of time. It’s not – leash training is widely underestimated by new dog owners. The method of getting your dog used to being on leash is very easy and just takes a little bit of your time. This small investment of properly training your dog to walk the right way is worth it in the near future, especially if your puppy will grow up weighing 50 or more pounds.

Every week I receive a dozen or more questions from new dog owners that ask me about leash training. Dog owners want to know what type of leash is best, what type to avoid, how long they should walk their dog, how to get the dog to stop pulling.

The following information below is a list of a few of the most common leash training questions for your benefit. Don’t forget, there is no one best way to do anything so when it comes to dog training, whether it involves leash training or other lesson, it is okay to include in your own training ideas so long as you keep it extremely positive – Negative dog training is never recommended and highly discouraged.

So, here are a few basic leash training questions and answers:

• What kind of material should my leash be made of? When you walk into any pet-specific store you’ll discover that most leashes for sale are made of nylon. Nylon is easy to wash and comes in an assortment of pretty colors. Nevertheless, they will burn your hand if the dog suddenly pulls and the leash moves through your fingers.

• I recommend that you buy a leather leash. In fact, a six-foot leash made of leather is a great size and material. It is long lasting you will not experience any type of burning sensation if it is pulled. Plus the grip is firm and your control is increased.

• Should you use using chain leashes? You can, however, chain leashes are just like nylon material, a chain leash can hurt your hands if the dog yanks hard and your grip slips. The benefit of this is that they are practically indestructible and will last a very long time. But injury could be much more severe than a nylon burn.

• How much room should you allow the leash to extend when walking your dog? Experienced dog trainers suggest that your puppy or adult dog does not need any more than 5 – 6 feet of distance to roam when you are walking it. This is plenty of room for you to keep control of the situation, while at the same time giving your dog a chance to sniff out small areas along the way.

• Lastly, how wide should your dog’s leash be? This answer is very simple. A leash that is approximately

Coping With Aggression

By Rachel Evans

Autism is a developmental disorder that is difficult for many parents to manage. Autistic children often display aggressive behaviors out of frustration and an inability to communicate and function within social norms.

Autism develops early in a child’s life. Parents and caregivers may notice significant changes in the behavior of a child early on. Suddenly, there is a developmental problem. Children lose language skills they have already developed and often push other people away.

Aggressive behaviors are difficult to cope with, especially for the parents and loved ones of autistic children. Imagine someone you pour all your love into physically turning on you, and for no apparent reason. It is a devastating experience for many parents, but it is just a fact of dealing with autism.

If you are the parent of an aggressive autistic child it is possible that you will be subjected to violent tantrums. Sometimes an autistic child hurts himself and other times, he may hurt those around him. The inability to properly communicate and assimilate the world around him may cause intense frustration. In addition, many autistic children are incapable of correctly perceiving the world around them that they may feel as though they have no connection to their body. This can cause them to act out violently – although their intent is not to injure others.

Other times, their intent may be to lash out. Parents and caregivers have to understand the root cause of this behavior and take the vantage point that it is ‘nothing personal’. An autistic child has difficulties controlling his behavior and lacks developmental markers that make self-control possible.

Fortunately, there are many resources available for you to learn about how to cope with aggressive behavior. In addition, there are support groups for parents and family members of autistic children. These groups can be highly valuable in teaching coping skills. Many parents in some way or another choose to blame themselves but when they get together with others going through the same trials and tribulations it becomes easier to maintain a clearer perspective on the situation.

Another option available is to see a psychologist. Psychologists provide an avenue in which parents can discuss their problems with a mental health professional that can provide an emotional and scientific perspective on the situation.

There are also lectures on the subject that can prove a valuable resource. Many experts in the field of autism present at conferences and discuss coping strategies. If you can attend it’s a great idea to go to these conferences whenever possible to gain further expert advice on the situation and to meet others who are experiencing the exact same thing as you are.

The most important thing to remember is that your child loves you. It may be difficult for him to show you his love at times, but this does not mean there is no genuine love.

Aggression and violent behavior is common for many autistic children and it is simply a consequence of the developmental difficulties autistic children face.

Autism is difficult to deal with for many parents. Even though it may be emotionally stressful at times, it is important that you keep a cool head during violent outbursts. Chances are that your child cannot control the situation, so the burden falls upon you to be the one in control.

About the Author: Rachel Evans has an interest in Autism. For further information on Autism please visit autism or autism symptom .

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Causes Of Dog Aggression

By Rebecca Ben

Unexpected dog aggression can be an unnerving experience for a loving dog owner. The caring owner is completely baffled about how their “baby” could suddently show aggression toward friends, family, other dogs, and even the dog’s owner/caretaker. Understanding why a dog becomes aggressive can give you the answer as to what action you should take to get the dog back to its usual loving self.

In order to understand why a dog suddenly becomes aggressive, you have to learn how a dog thinks. No matter how much we would like to think so, a dog is not a child and does not think the same way. Dogs are pack animals and our dogs regard us as another member of their pack. Our interactions with our dog determine whether or not we are regarded as the pack leader or as another pack member in need of protection. Is your dog submissive to you and to other dogs or does your pet “run the show”. A dog of either personality type can become aggressive. However, each personality type tends to have different causes of that aggression. Often, the personality type is not apparent to the owner who is too close to the situation and it takes the intervention of a professional trainer to diagnose the problem. There are several different types of canine aggression that are often closely connected as causes of individual instances of aggression.

Often, dogs become aggressive when they feel threatened in some way. This threat could take several forms. The dog may be possessive and defending an object it feels belongs to him. This could be food, a toy, a bed or any other object the dog has come to value. Dogs with a submissive personality are less at risk for this type of aggression, but often more dangerous when possessive aggression manifests itself. They are, however, easier to correct and bring back into line.

Another type of dog aggression is territorial possessiveness. Dogs are very territorial creatures and if they feel that their territory is being invaded by members of another pack, then they will protect their space. Dogs who “run the show”, who think of themselves as the pack leader rather than their owner, are typically more at risk of this type of aggression. They feel the need to protect the pack’s territory from invasion. In the dog’s mind their territory could span anything from their own home or yard to the whole neighborhood where they are walked and may have marked the boundaries.

A third type of dog aggression is caused by the animal’s instinct to protect itself and its pack. Even the smartest dog is prone to misunderstanding the intentions of other dogs and people it is not familiar with. Again, this type of aggression is more prevalent in dogs who do not consider themselves a follower of their pack leader owner. The pack leader feels a stronger need to be the protector of the pack. However, even a submissive dog may step up when they feel the threat is sufficient and their pack leader (you) is in danger.

Dog aggression can quickly escalate to a dangerous situation for you, your family, your friends and other pets. Even the most minor instances of canine aggression, such as snapping or growling at you for forcing it out of your chair, must be dealt with early on. Aggression will only become worse once the dog establishes a new baseline limit for what it can get away with. Before you have a problem, you should learn positive methods that you can employ to make sure your dog regards you as its master so you can work to control that aggression. Once your dog reaches the point of snapping at people or other dogs, though, the time has come to seek competent professional assistance.

About the Author: Get the latest dog news at CoCo the Blogging Dog This blog is updated daily with information on dog health, training, animal events, dog food and toy recalls, dog food recipes, breed discrimination, animal welfare laws, and anything else a savvy dog lover might be interested in. Pet Bounce pain killer for dogs – Free Trial!

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Which Leash Should You Use While Leash Training Your Puppy?

By Jeff Nenadic

Your newest addition to the family may start out as a cute little bundle of fur but soon he/she is going to hit a growth spurt. Before that happens, you are going to want to leash train the puppy. This will make walking your dog an enjoyable activity in the days to come. However, if you are remiss in the training you may find your little bundle of fur has turned into an uncontrollable ball of energy.

There is a variety of leashes out there to choose from when buying for your pet. However, when picking a leash to train your pet with, there are specifics needing to be touched upon throughout the process. A fit leash for training will provide the needed constraint while training your dog. It needs to be strong, taut and of a length that will keep your dog in close proximity to you, yet still allow it a sense of freedom on his/her walk.

The best training leash available is the woven leash of specific lengths. They may be old fashioned but they are effective. As your dog grows, you will need to replace this leash with a longer leash to accommodate your pets size. Keep in mind that you should begin training your pet on the leash soon after you bring them home. Training should not be put off for too long. An accessory to this leash, in training, should be the harness. While collars are affective, the harness will provide a more comfortable feeling when training. It is secured around the pups chest and legs instead of neck. This means that when you apply pressure in directing them to heel, they will not only be more aware of the tug but will be less afraid of it. A harness also eliminates the ability for the puppy to back out of the collar. Even if you put on snug and comfortable leash, pups seem to have the innate ability of escaping from it. You may also find that your puppy is afraid of the collar, whereas the harness is less intimidating. Once placed securely on, the puppy will hardly know it is there.

One leash to stay away from using, while training should be the retractable leash as this leash can provide too much freedom in the course of their walks to the point that if extended to a certain length they will be walking in their own little world, completely unaware of your presence which is not very beneficial in accomplishing your goal. In addition, the movement of adjusting and locking the retractable leash can prove confusing to your puppy. It could send the wrong signals to him.

However, with a woven or leather leash you will be able to effectively teach them to heel on command. It will also allow you better control of the leash and what is at the end of it. Nothing is worse then having to strain against a leash as your now large dog drags you down the sidewalk. It is no less embarrassing then when your pawed friend decides to greet the passersby with putting his front paws on them. If walking with a retractable leash you may not restrain your pet in time.

Now, after you have successfully completed training your pup on the leash and he walks along with you in shared enjoyment, it is perfectly acceptable to switch to a retractable leash. When your pup responds to your commands giving him more freedom in your walks is fine and you can consider it a treat even.

About the Author: Written by Jeff Nenadic from My Dog Shop

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Dog Aggression

By George Kane

Aggression in dogs is a serious behavioral condition owners face. However, the problem could be avoided if the owner is properly aware of dogs’ life stages and the things that can lead to dog aggression.

One million cases of reported dog bites are recorded each year but it only accounts for half of the cases because the other half go unreported. Most wounds from dog bites are not threatening. Unfortunatly children are bitten most often.

Genes, heredity, and environment are major factors affecting dog aggression. Some breeds like Rottweilers and Akitas display belligerent behaviors while some breeds take softer roles like Retrievers.

Mating related dogs can result in inconsistent attitudes in dogs and hormones can influence aggression between dogs of the same and opposite sexes.

Another factor that contributes to behavioral aggression is environment. That includes the dog’s state of living, socializing, excessive disciplining and unwarranted reinforcing from the owner etc.

Furthermore, dogs instinctly live in packs. They occupy high or low social status. They see the people around them as part of the pack and they protect their status in the social rank by attacking the passive members of the family such as children. If dogs growl in defense of their bowls and they are not disciplined, the owners are giving the dogs an unwanted opportunity to develop such aggressive behavior over one of the family members or all of the family members. With time and without proper intervention from the owners, the dogs will surely establish their dominance in the social rank which includes the members of the family. Such dominant behavior will show when the dogs start to bite every time they start to see and feel that humans are a threat to their high social rank in the “pack”. Such dogs often end up at shelters, because their owners had, in reality, misunderstood their social behavior such as attacking without any definite purpose.

Dogs may be aggressive because of fear, territory, other dogs (siblings, dogs of the same sex, and dogs of the opposite sex), medications, predation, possession, puppies, food, play, maternity, senility, and illness or injury. Dogs may show one or a combination of several kinds of aggression.

Socializing dogs during their first 12 weeks of their life is a critical factor which is important to prevent dog aggression. Three to 16 weeks are the critical stages in dogs’ growth because it is during these times that they learn to trust or mistrust. During these periods, they should be taught how to interact socially. As puppies, dogs should be exposed to humans especially children because if not, they will grow uncomfortable with the presence of people.

Ensure your dogs’ and children’s safety. Children are bitten by dogs commonly in the face. Dogs reprimand their puppies by opening their mouths across the puppies’ faces. Children love to hug and kiss dogs. Sometimes dogs get offended so as a result, they see children as offending puppies.

Teach positive behavior like self-control to your dog. For instance, train him to keep still while you are preparing their food.

Be mindful of what dogs learn everyday. Don’t let them bark at people who pass by on bikes or to mailmen, repairmen, delivery people and strangers. Do not leave your dogs unattended while fettered out of the house. Take dogs inside of the house for the night.

Choose solid fence over underground electronic fence.

You also need to neuter your dogs.

About the Author: George Kane writes about Dog Aggression for a top Dog Training Review Website – George is a long time dog lover and dog trainer.

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Dog Too Spoiled To Walk On Leash

By Adam Katz

Dear Mr. Katz:

I have a 4 month old female pup, AmStaff/Boxer (we think – she was a rescue). She responds well to all training, EXCEPT for walking and heeling.

We’ve practiced the loose-leash “turning on a dime” technique described in your book and audio tape at length, but she refuses to cooperate.

[See http://www.dogproblems.com/secretsbook.htm]

It’s not a matter of distraction – when I attempt to train her in this style, she pulls back with all her strength. When the loose leash is snapped, she sits, paws braced, or lays down on her back. These responses are immediate.

I’ve tried instantly righting her, and continuing the training, but she responds as above just as quickly. This can go on indefinitely. I’ve tried correcting her with a low “No,” and praising her if she responds correctly for even an instant. I’ve tried using treats to get her to at least walk with me briefly…… all to no success.

What else should I try?

Thanks,

Geoff

Dear Geoff,

It’s a good question you’ve asked.

First, you DO NOT want to work the dog around distractions at this point in the game.

Second, you should not be telling the dog, “No!” and jerking the leash for this behavior. Instead, you need to simply glue the leash to your belt and keep walking.

Now here’s where your problem will arise: You’ve already inadvertently taught your dog that if she kicks and screams long enough (or rolls on her back and throws a tantrum)… that eventually you will stop walking and come to see what’s wrong.

The only problem is… NOTHING IS WRONG!

It’s like if I take you in a helicopter and drop you off in the middle of the desert and tell you that I’m going to leave you there, but will eventually come back and pick you up in half an hour (or 2 hours, or a whole day!!!) … you will simply sit there and not attempt to remedy your situation, as you know that I’m coming back to pick you up. Eventually, this situation will end and I’ll come back and your problems will be over.

However, if I instead drop you off in the middle of the desert and tell you that I’m never coming back… then all of the sudden you’re in a position where you MUST START TRYING DIFFERENT THINGS TO BETTER YOUR SITUATION.

Maybe you start to look for some twigs you can start a smoke fire with, to draw the attention of an airplane overhead.

Or perhaps you climb on top of a rock, to look for a nearby highway so that you can hitch hike to a nearby pay phone.

But the point is… you start actively looking for a solution because you IMMEDIATELY REALIZE THAT YOUR SITUATION WILL NOT SIMPLY END BY ITSELF.

And this is the same thing you need to teach your dog. And it’s a lesson that will extend beyond this one exercise. Your dog must learn that just because she does not want to do something DOES NOT mean that you will give in and let her not do the exercise.

BECAUSE THIS CREATES A SPOILED DOG.

So… what should you do? The answer is really quite simple. Just keep walking. No matter how much the dog kicks and screams and throws a tantrum, remember: You’re not asking her to do anything she cannot do if she chooses. We’re asking her to SIMPLY WALK WITH YOU.

Now, in light of everything you’ve already taught her (remember, every action you do teaches your dog something)… you may have to keep walking a quarter of a mile before she finally realizes that you’re not stopping and that it’s easier to walk alongside you than it is to be dragged on her rump.

Trust me… it won’t be a pretty scene for your neighbors to look out their window and see you dragging your dog on her rump down the street.

But when you will be able to take that same dog out for a casual stroll later that evening, your neighbors will wonder if you didn’t trade your dog in for a different one and will gasp at how well she walks alongside you on the leash.

That’s all for now, folks!

Adam

Dogproblems.com

About the Author: Adam G. Katz is the author of the book, “Secrets of a Professional Dog Trainer: An Insider’s Guide To The Most Jealously Guarded Dog Training Secrets In History.” Get a free copy of his report “Games To Play With Your Dog” when you sign up for his free weekly dog training tips e-zine at: http://www.dogproblems.com

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Her Dog Shows Two Different Types Of Aggression

By Adam Katz

Dear Adam:

I am writing about our dog Rudy, a three year old goldie mix that we adopted five months ago from a shelter. We have received different opinions on his mix. Some have said goldie/shepherd, some have said goldie/chow. The latter is the opinion of the [local dog training academy], where he is presently enrolled in their one-month board and train program. We enrolled him because one month ago he attacked a jogger. The jogger was running by my husband, who had Rudy in a sit on a slack leash. The jogger changed direction quickly, running straight toward Derek and Rudy. Rudy lunged at the jogger, jumped up on him, barking and growling aggressively.

He tore the man’s jacket by nipping at it, but he did not bite the jogger.

[You weren't paying attention to your dog. If you were, you'd have already been running the other direction to execute the "attention getter" drill as outlined in the book. -Editor]

The only other time he had displayed such aggressive behavior was toward a UPS driver coming up the driveway, but he was well under control that time.

He has a very strong prey drive and dominant personality. He had been doing very well these past three weeks at the Academy. They were not able to elicit any aggressive behavior from him, and his obedience training was going well. But last Thursday, he bit a trainer. He apparently was being put back into his kennel and ran off down a long hallway. He was not leashed. When he got to the dead end, he first went submissive, rolling over on his back. The trainer then reached to grab his collar and Rudy gave her hand a good bite. She then reached for the collar with her other hand, and he did the same to that hand. He did not give her any warning growl or snap. He did not move forward toward her, just reacted to her reach toward him. After the second bite she backed off, and another trainer was able to coax Rudy to go back with her uneventfully.

I have read your book and believe that the trainer bite was an example of fear aggression? (I don’t know what to think about the jogger, though.) The Academy seems to be saying that they can’t train that reaction out of him; that we will just need to be vigilant and mindful of his triggers. That goes without saying, and I now believe that being cornered is one of his triggers. (Our vet had also mentioned that when they cornered him to get him on a table, that he had snapped out at them.) But your book and tapes led me to believe that you can train such behavior out of a dog. Or am I misunderstanding? Are you merely just getting the dog to react to you instead of following his instinctual reaction? Certainly that’s a good thing, but what if he’s with someone else when he’s triggered?

We need some perspective on this situation. I love him and want to give him every chance to learn correct behaviors. But on the other hand, we live in a dense children and jogger packed neighborhood. We can’t keep him if there is reasonable risk of this kind of thing happening again.

Mary Ellen

Dear Mary Ellen:

Thank you for the e-mail.

You’ve got a couple of things to consider:

1. The dog needs to be firmly corrected lunging. Going after the biker is a prey-based aggression. Correct him for this, as described in the book.

2. Going after the trainer and the veterinarian is the result of the dog being insecure and not trusting the handler. Usually in these types of cases, he will not bite if he is secure that you will not hurt him. Or if he knows that he will only be fairly corrected for behavior that he understands.

With aggressive behavior, we can never say 100% “All” or “Never” that your dog will or will not show a specific behavior.

Regardless, your dog needs to be corrected for such behavior, and then shown that if he is calm, he gets praise and nothing bad happens to him. This can sometimes be achieved by placing the dog in such positions while he is wearing a muzzle. He cannot bite you, and ultimately learns that everything ends up “A-Okay.”

It is a process of deconditioning. Not so for the prey-aggression, which can be fixed with a couple of well-timed and motivational corrections.

That’s all for now, folks!

Adam

Dogproblems.com

About the Author: Adam G. Katz is the author of the book, “Secrets of a Professional Dog Trainer: An Insider’s Guide To The Most Jealously Guarded Dog Training Secrets In History.” Get a free copy of his report “Games To Play With Your Dog” when you sign up for his free weekly dog training tips e-zine at: http://www.dogproblems.com

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Issues With Dog Aggression

By Kelly Marshall

Dogs, especially those of a certain breed, get really aggressive if they aren’t trained when they are young, or when they are brought home. While dogs can be the best and most loved pets that a pet owner can have, they can also become quite savage or unruly if they aren’t socialized to fit in with humans. They may have many human characteristics that make them loveable, but people have to remember that they are animals first and foremost.

If the dogs aren’t socialized properly, then they will exhibit behaviors that will lead to them being sent to animal shelters or euthanized. This is a heartbreaking event and oftentimes, it is one that can be avoided when a smart and responsible pet owner does their part to make sure that the pet is broken of their aggressive tendencies.

The dog is born into packs. Along with this, they are designed to establish themselves as the alpha, or the leader of the pack. It’s fine to have a confident and an independent dog. But much like children, if a dog is left to its own devices, then it will turn on you, and the dog will think that you are the underling, and that they are the alpha.

An untrained dog proves it’s the alpha by biting, barking in a harassing manner, snapping, and growling. These are all behaviors to intimidate you, and others. They will also become very territorial of their items such as the bed, or the feeding dish. In advanced cases, they will become territorial of your belongings and territories, such as your chair, or your bedroom.

You have to work very closely with a professional dog trainer, especially if you have adopted an adult dog, or an abused dog. The dog might even need behavior modification. The most important thing is that you have to be very firm and sharp when training your dog out of aggression. From the first time that they test you, you have to show them who the boss is.

A dog with aggressive behavior must be dealt with swiftly, and firmly. The alternative is that the dog won’t be able to be part of your family, and might end up back in a shelter. This causes pain for both your family and the dog.

Certain types of dogs need aggression breaking for certain reasons. For example, toy dogs such as poodles and Chihuahuas can exhibit aggression by yelping, yipping, and biting. These dogs aren’t a huge danger, in as much as they are annoying. Chihuahuas in particular can be very mean and aggressive. They will chase people around. On the other end of the spectrum, there are large dogs such as German Shepherds and Rottweiler’s which can be quite dangerous if they have aggression issues. There sheer weight can cause a human to be knocked down on the ground. They have large fangs and powerful jaws. Grave harm can come to the person who sets off one of these dogs. While these are qualities that make these breeds excellent guard dogs, these qualities can be dangerous to have around families and the general public.

Again, the best thing is to seek out the assistance of a professional that can help to break your dog of these issues and to help your dog fit into society.

About the Author: For more info, visit ohmydogsupplies – home to unique dog supplies like dog coats winter, dog clothes, and other dog gear that you’ll never find at your local pet store.

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How to Handle Aggression

By A. Majid

Handling aggression is a challenge but it something that sometimes we have to do. It is almost natural to respond by being aggressive back. You see, when someone is aggressive towards you, your emotions are pricked and it is easy to start expressing what you feel, not necessarily what you think.

When you respond to aggression by being aggressive, you are not going to diffuse the other’s person anger or solve the problem that had caused the aggressive behavior. You may out shout him and silence him but the problem will remain and will come around again in the future. What’s more is that your peace of mind is also disturbed.

The best way to handle aggression is to be assertive. But first, before you say or do anything else, count to ten and then:

1. Ask in a calm manner what is troubling the aggressor. Be clear and try to collect as much information as possible. If you cannot get any word in, let the aggressor get it out of his system. Be aware of your own body language and remember you have the right to leave the room until things cool down.

2. State clearly the position as you see it. Again in a calm manner, tell the aggressor where you stand on the issue.

3. Empathize with aggressor. Explain that you can see it from their point of view but firmly and clearly tell them the difference between what they believe and the way you feel what was actually happening. Keep your focus on what they are saying, not the way they are saying it.

4. Use diversion. Sometimes physically changing the way you sit or even asking in a calm collected voice the aggressor to sit down can take the heat of the situation. A little pause before you say anything can also help. Something changing the subject a little can also diffuse the aggressor’s anger.

5. Offer a range of solutions. This shows the aggressor that you interested in solving the issue that has disturbed him.

6. Try to lighten the situation. This is often quite difficult to do and risky. Gauge the situation, wait for the right moment to use humor. Do not use this technique when the heat is still high.

7. If aggressive behavior still persists, indicate your own beliefs and feelings. However do not cut them short. Let them talk out of being aggressive.

8. If all fails, suggest to the aggressor a cooling down period and that both of you can talk again after that.

It is important that you recognize that you cannot aggression by being passive or you losing your temper. Being assertive and in control of your own emotions is crucial. This is often difficult to do as aggressive behaviors are deemed as a threat by the body and our “fight or flight” response is activated. It is important that you are aware of your feelings at all times and keep yourself checked.

It is important that you comment about the aggressor’s position, i.e. “if you do not stop shouting at me, it will be difficult to answer your questions”. Also appeal to their past good behaviors.

About the Author: A. Majid is interested in reaching his full potential and helping other to do the same. For more resources on self help tools, visit Self Help 101.

Source: www.isnare.com

Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=597947&ca=Self Help

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